Monday, December 22, 2008

Merry Christmas To You All

And to Keith:

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch.

I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Grinch.

Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crockodile.

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Grinch.

The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.

Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool
With arsenic sauce.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Whatever Drugs Keith Is On, He Should Stay On Them

It's pretty obvious that Keith is sick again. But whatever he's taking to combat it he should keep taking it. Countdown was very good tonight. Or last night.
He asked all the right questions about war crimes. I was beginning to wonder if he was ever going to go down that road. This is something that will get my undivided attention.
If he feels the need to be obsessed with something, or someone, then this is definitely the route to take. In fact, a special comment should be done about this. Leave out the "sirs" and just throw the Dick in jail.

The shoe tossing was hilarious. I loved it. Joel McHale is great but I don't think Keith can handle having a shoe thrown at him. He was too quick to say "dammit". Something tells me he's not a team player. And it wouldn't surprise me if he blasted the person who did it once he was off the air. Though, from my point of view, watching a shoe being thrown at Keith was the highlight of the evening.

Monday, December 8, 2008

Political Comedy? Keith?

Since when has Keith been politically funny? He spends more time humoring up Bill O'Reilly than he does making jokes about politics.
I'll tell you what's funny on Countdown. Watching Keith with the sound down. He can't just read the news he has to act it out. Which in turn, makes him look like a cartoon character. Or someone who is trying really really hard to be like Jim Carrey.

Anyway, I have an idea for Keith. Since he deemed it necessary to write a book about all those "special comments" he did, then wouldn't it be more up his alley to write one about BillO? He seems to know a great deal about the guy. Hell, he probably spends more time on him than BillO's wife does.
It would sell.
But going back to his mentioning of Jay Leno getting his own political comedy show. Something tells me that Keith is going to throw a big hissy fit if that show cuts into his repeat face time. I hope he does...and I hope it backfires on him big time. This would prove once and for all just how low Keith is willing to go for his own purpose.

On a different subject. Who the hell is cutting his hair? It looks terrible. The sides and the back are really short and the top is too long. It lays over the back as if he's wearing a toupee. I'm guessing it's not a professional cut.
And really, since when is Keith a defender of not calling a woman a broad? Not that I've ever heard him say it out loud, but someone like him probably has thought it from time to time and/or has said it in private.
But then, him defending anybody that doesn't directly appeal to him makes him a liar. I don't care how many "heavy sighs" he throws out's all fake.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Prime Example

This is a prime example as to why it's obvious that Keith doesn't give a damn about the little guy.
He negotiated for a bigger contract and got it, but in order for them to give it to him they have to fire a lot of people. Do you think Keith cares about that? Hell no.
I've said time and again that if you fell down in front of him on the sidewalk he would just step over you. He's just as bad as BillO, if not worse.
I will never believe that Keith is a nice person. All you have to do is pay attention to the things he says and his actions. He contradicts himself a lot and people fall for it. I did for a while, but then I realized that he would let you die if it meant his life would be saved.
That makes him a coward. And one greedy s.o.b.

There is no way you can find justice in this mess. If you think that Keith deserves all that money at the expense of others' livelihoods then you obviously have never been pushed out so that the fat cat can get paid.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Countdown Needs Change

It's just not that good. I can sit and watch Countdown and then The Rachel Maddow Show and get the same stories. However, I get more information from Rachel than I do from Keith.
Though Countdown wasn't that bad Tuesday night it just wasn't that good. There needs to be some changes. Either that or Keith needs to start asking the right questions.
Maybe he could study Rachel's techniques and learn from her. But God forbid he learn from a woman, so I guess that's out of the question.

I'm thinking maybe it's Keith's overwhelming desire to bash that he's forgotten how to report. I can remember a time where he would tell you the story as it is and not as it should be. But then, that was during the time before he became extremely involved with himself.
He's perfect and anybody who disagrees with that is his enemy. That's who he's become and that's the direction his show has taken.

Who knows, maybe he could bring back the soundbites of the day. Those were pretty good. Or rearrange some things. Move WPiTW between the 5th and 4th stories and add a longer 3rd story. And get a better 2nd story.
Something needs to happen or his show is going to go down the drain.