Monday, November 24, 2008

THE Girlfriend

Oh, I keep forgetting. Keith doesn't have a girlfriend. He has an object. And she is almost always referred to as THE girlfriend. Niiiiiice.
Let me see if I can get this straight. THE girlfriend has to work Thanksgiving so they are going out to eat. So he has no family? She has to work so he's not going to go to his family for Thanksgiving???????? Oh, that's just sad.
So Keith sacrifices his family for her. How romantic.

She cooked last year. I wonder what it was she cooked. Did she cook and then take it over to his family's place?
This is very curious.

You gotta love this guy. He's the epitome of what not to do in life. If you ever feel your life sucks, just take a listen to Keith from time to time and you would think your life is grand.


marinara said...

At least he didn't fall down the stairs when he entered the stage. He broke his foot last year falling down some stairs, the klutz.

He looked uncomfortable at having to stand, and for a lot longer than he's used to. Definitely needs some exercise, but I think the black sweater was the right choice to disguise his bulk.

Seemed to me that he fidgeted nervously the whole time, while Martha fairly exuded calmness and confidence. All he had to do was place one hand on the table top to steady himself and project some sort of calm, but he didn't. He tried to be funny with a turkey story about an old television sitcom (which I used to watch, so I understood) and with the Palin/turkey slaughter recap. His attempt at humor mostly fell flat, due to his nervousness and lack of confidence. Martha was very nice to him, and tried to put him at ease. Very nice of her indeed not to bring up the 'why Keith doesn't vote' thing.

You can sure tell that he doesn't know what to do in a kitchen. Katy would probably throw him out of there if he tried to help. Somehow, I doubt he'd try to help. I'll bet Katy does ok with a meat cleaver. Wouldn't trust Keith with one. He's probably chop his own fingers off.

I knew he'd be a klutz. He was terrible at mixing his graham cracker crumbs, terrible at mashing it into the pie tin, and he couldn't use a friggin' whisk! This man has never cooked anything in his life. He can pour milk on cereal, dump salad from a bag into a bowl, and heat gourmet microwave dinners. Oh, and boil water. That's probably it.

I am fairly sure that Keith is estranged from both of his parents. I don't know about his sister, but I'm guessing they just have nothing in common, but their parents. If he didn't have Katy, there would be nobody.

flowergirl said...

You're probably right about the family situation but it doesn't make me feel sorry for him.
Keith wanted Hollywood and that's what he got. But Hollywood isn't anything to brag about.

flowergirl said...

One thing I did find interesting, was his discussion about the Sarah Palin video. Not once did he tell Martha that he didn't see it. Unless I missed that part.
But he sure stressed that point on his show last night. Which was so incredibly ridiculous.
He was trying to be cute and it didn't work. In fact, he looked stupid.
Not to mention that he's been ripping Rachel off big time.

Anonymous said...

He doesn't get along with his family at all. He doesn't get along with anyone for very long come to think of it.

Anonymous said...

Um, maybe he doesn't want to spend Thanksgiving with his family? Lots of people don't. And it's often because their families are comprised of toxic people.

And why in the world would she cook and transport the food to his family? What a bizarre thought.

She has a family, too. Maybe her family comes to visit sometimes. Ever consider that?

All that having been said, he was totally awkward and ill at ease. I think his attempts at humor fell flat because a. the vast majority of the audience has no idea who he is or what he does, and b. they have no idea what's going on in the world. The political talk was obviously way over their heads.

At least he din't compare himself to Obama the way Stewart did (both hiring people, both executives, etc.). And he didn't look as fat as he usually does next to her cascading rolls of flab. Ugh.

flowergirl said...

I thought about her family coming but I dismissed it. I'm not so sure that either family is too thrilled about their arrangement.

As for food being prepared and transported? People do it all the time.
I have a rather large family and we always transported food from one location to the other. We still do it depending on what we have in mind.

Anonymous said...

If Martha Stewart is fat what does that make Keith? A float in the Macy's Day Thanksgiving parade?